08/07/2018

Are we getting divorced? Travelling Solo!

I do not often talk about my relationship here because believe me there are many more interesting subjects to talk about such as Blue Lagoon, Aberaeron, free walking tours, and Aberdeen. However, I am going to make an exception for this, surely I must not be the only one that experiences this and I want to know your view. 

Let’s cut to the chase and talk about travelling solo when you are married *horrified gasp*.

Before I was in a relationship I did travel alone. Not as often as I travel nowadays, mainly because I was young and without a disposable income, but I was still going for trips on my own for example to Paris, where I had the best time ever. By the way this memory of fantastic Paris was destroyed by a trip a few years later but this is another story for a different time (no one dumped me in Paris if you wonder).

Travelling solo was and still is my thing but so is travelling as a couple so I did not see what the big deal is when I’ve decided to visit Iceland on my own because my partner had no more holiday allowance to take. 

I do not see what the big deal is when… Someone whispered to me over a wine:

Are you getting divorced? 

Say what? I thought to myself and then it hit me. No one from my family or close friends travels without their partner. Actually at the beginning of my relationship travelling solo was also a hot topic. I guess some people still think ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ kinda deal when a married female is going to travel solo. 

Am I getting a divorce or do I just love to travel solo more than I love my partner?

Well neither really. I love travelling with my partner as much as I love to travel solo. Those two experiences are very different. Travelling solo has obvious perks such as forgetting what the word ‘compromise’ is. However, it also means that you can appear as an easy target so watching stars in a secluded area at night might not be the best idea. Plus it's great to share experiences together. 

We had quite a few long, more or less heated discussions about travelling solo when in relationship. However, we agreed that the time apart, which we spend on our hobbies is healthy and works for us. 

All the stories!

I always thought that one of the sexier things in people is when they have a hobby and can talk about it for hours. For me travelling solo brings new stories and experiences to the relationship that later can be shared during dinner. The counterargument is that those experiences could be experienced together and it is true. However, I like a balance and nothing excites me as much as learning something new.

Time Apart

One of other things is time apart. It is great to be together but time apart in my eyes is quite desirable. I would love to say ‘Yes, every single second in our relationship is productive; we appreciate each other, and cannot get enough of one another’. The truth is that evenings in front of a TV where both of us are with our noses in our smartphones is neither of those things. Time apart means that not only the return is sweeter but also time together is more productive and we are actively engaging with one another rather than just waiting for time to pass. Why? Because we both know that our time with each other is limited so why waste it.

Me Time

Me time! I need reflective time and I just cannot do it when I am with someone. Travelling solo helps me to slow down and figure out what is important to me, think about situations that I might not have been comfortable with, and try to improve in the future.

Adaptability 

Personally I love the aspect of adapting to new situations and being forced to take leadership. There is no one else that can make sure that the tickets are booked, my passport is still where it should be, and that the guy next to you on the train is not going to run away with your camera and bag.

What are your thoughts about travelling solo when you are in a relationship? 
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19 comments

  1. I agree with your position on this! Solo travel is still important if it was important to you before and is a great opportunity to appreciate your partner with fresh eyes all over again!
    Alys
    https://alysjournals.com/

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    1. Hi Alys, thank you for your comment. Is there anything that you were doing before you've met your partner or if you do not have one atm is there anything you would like to continue when you are in the relationship? Love, Iga

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  2. Interesting post, dear! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thank you for visiting! Love, Iga

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  3. I don't travel solo as often now that I'm in a relationship, but we definitely each take a trip or two a year without the other.

    xx,
    Meredith
    LATEST POST | INSTAGRAM

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    1. Hi Meredith (one of my fav names!), where are you going solo next? Love, Iga

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  4. This is so cool! I'd love to go traveling solo, but I don't know v where to start!

    Rhianna x
    www.tsundokugirl.com

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    1. Hi Rhianna, I have a few posts about solo travel, have a peak! I am always happy to help so drop me a line and we can get started! Love, Iga

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  5. This is such a great post! I've never done any solo travelling before, but it's definitely something I'd like to do. I agree that time apart in a relationship is important and it definitely makes you appreciate the time you have together more. Now all I need to do is convince my husband that we should do a bit of solo travelling!!
    Leah
    https://mybellyful.co.uk/

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    1. Hi Leah, thank you for stopping by! Good luck with convincing your husband. Maybe the first step would be going away together but having one day where both of you can visit whatever you wish separately. Love, Iga

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  6. I love this! I'm hoping to travel solo in a few years after university, and I think it's such an amazing, personal learning experience that you shouldn't have to compromise being in a relationship. I think it's amazing that you're still travelling solo, me time is so important! Great post x

    Evie x | https://eviejayne.co.uk

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    1. Hi Evie, thank you so much! You are such a sweetie. Where would you like to go to? Love, Iga

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  7. Woahhh! It's kinda crazy to think that people feel it so strange when you do solo travel or want me time when you're in a relationship. Lol people always make things a big deal and try to make you over think. That's such huge conclusion to jump to like wow. Idk I'm not in a relationship right now so I definitely enjoy my solo time and I think it's a healthy and totally normal thing for people to have. I believe you have to establish a level of independence outside of your relationship. This was suh an interesting read Iga! :D

    xx Lena | https://lenadeexo.com

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    1. Hi Lena, thank you so much! I was a bit like 'woah' let's go back to the beginning and talk why I want to travel on my own and why this does not mean I am about to divorce. It was interesting to see that for some people travelling alone is still a big thing. Love, Iga x

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  8. I don't have anything against travelling solo while in a relationship. I don't do it for a simple reason I don't have much time to travel or see my boyfriend so when I do have time I want to spend time with him. My best friends boyfriend travels alone though and I think it's great - he just has more time.
    Dorota
    www.fetchcandle.wordpress.com

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    1. Hello Dorota, that's a valid reason! When I was in a long distance relationship I was saving my holidays to meet up and every hour together was a celebration! Love, Iga x

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  9. This post made me laugh so much. My husband and I have always been relatively untraditional, and my stepmum in particular can't get her head around why we're happy to go places without each other. Why WOULD he want to tag along when I go to visit my sister, or cut back on something he wants to do to make a trip I can more easily afford to take? We still enjoy each other's company more than anybody else's, but you enjoy each other more when you're not in each other's faces all the time.

    Lis / last year's girl x

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  10. This is so wonderful! I have never traveled but I really admire your courage and wish I could be like that!!!

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